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a quiet relief disguised as a roast
Here's the small embarrassing secret of every writer you admire: they think they're getting away with something.
Impostor syndrome is the tax you pay for taking yourself seriously. It is also, regrettably, evidence that you care — which is why the people who don't have it are mostly the ones who shouldn't be writing publicly to begin with. We separate the kind of impostor feeling that means 'I am growing into a bigger room' from the kind that means 'I haven't done the actual work yet,' because they look identical from the inside and have completely different cures. The slightly mean reframe at the end of this piece has gotten more clients onstage than any pep talk I've ever delivered.
Impostor feeling vs. impostor evidence
| The feeling | What it actually means |
|---|---|
| I'm a fraud | I'm in a bigger room than yesterday |
| Everyone will find out | I care what they think — which is normal |
| I don't deserve this | I haven't built the proof yet — but I'm allowed to be here |
| I should give the spot to someone better | Cute. Someone better isn't in the room. |
The slightly mean reframe
- Name three things you actually do know cold. Write them down.
- Name one thing you don't know. That's growth, not fraud.
- Notice that the people you think have it figured out have asked you for help recently.
- Stop trying to prove you belong. Start doing the work the room requires.
- Repeat the next sentence out loud: I am not the most experienced person in the room, and I am still allowed to be here.
Impostor syndrome doesn't dissolve by proving yourself. It dissolves the day you stop trying to prove yourself and start doing the work the room requires.
— L.A. Walton, The Book Maven
From the Maven Catalog
- Free eCourse — Hello, Impostor
- Master Course — Write Anyway
- eBook — The Fraud Tax
- Planner — The Confident Author Planner
Stop waiting to feel like you deserve it. Deserve catches up to behavior eventually. Just keep doing the work the room requires. The feeling rearranges itself when nobody is looking.