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show, with a sandwich
This is the easiest writing rule to remember.
Instead of telling, show what happens. 'My dog is big' is fine. 'My dog stole my sandwich off the kitchen counter without standing on his back legs' is funnier and shows you more. We do a kid-sized show-don't-tell drill that's actually fun. The trick is using a specific funny detail instead of an adjective. Bigger isn't a story. Sandwich theft is.
Telling · showing · with examples
| Telling | Showing |
|---|---|
| My dog is big | My dog stole my sandwich without standing up |
| She was angry | She slammed three doors before breakfast |
| It was cold | I could see my breath inside the house |
| He was tired | He fell asleep with his shoe still on |
The sandwich drill
- Pick a sentence that just tells: 'X is Y.'
- Think of a specific funny thing that proves it.
- Write that instead.
- Do it three more times tonight.
- Look at your story. Replace 'tells' with 'shows.'
- Notice the story is funnier and more interesting.
Don't tell me the dog is big. Show me he stole my sandwich. The sandwich is the story. The 'big' was just a label. Sandwiches always win.
— L.A. Walton, The Book Maven
From the Maven Catalog
- Kid Free eCourse — Show, Don't Just Say
- Kid Master Course — Show It in Stories
- Kid eBook — The Sandwich Rule
- Kid Toolkit — Kid Show/Tell Toolkit
Run the sandwich drill tonight. Replace four 'tells' with four 'shows.' The story gets funnier. The story gets better. You used the sandwich rule. You're a writer.