You wrote the scene. You also wrote a paragraph about the curtains.
The misdiagnosisThe misdiagnosis is that your prose is rich. That cutting would strip the voice.
The real diagnosisYour prose is padded. Voice survives the cut. What dies in the trim pass is rarely your voice. It is throat-clearing in a fancy outfit. Five tells. Cut them. Voice intact.
The Five Tells
| Tell | Example | The Cut |
|---|---|---|
| Double adjectives | 'tired, exhausted' | Pick one. |
| Throat-clearing | 'It was at this moment that' | Delete the entire phrase. |
| Filler verbs | 'She started to walk' | 'She walked.' |
| Stacked metaphor | Three images for one mood | Pick the best one. |
| Curtain description | Paragraph about a thing that isn't the scene | Cut. Or move. |
Three Lines Of Defense For 'But It's My Voice'
- Read the cut version out loud. If your voice is gone, restore.
- Show a beta reader both. They will pick the cut.
- Reread the cut version next week. You will not miss it.
Your voice is in the rhythm, not in the redundancy. The trim pass cuts the redundancy. The rhythm stays.
Pick a paragraph. Cut 30 percent. Read it. If voice survives, the trim is right. If not, restore one line at a time.
The dare (not assignment)Pick one paragraph today. Cut three lines using the five tells. Read it aloud. Decide.
Image promptA pair of scissors lying across a manuscript page. The page has some lines crossed out lightly in pencil. Painterly. Cream and pink. No people.
— The Book Maven
SEO Tagsoverwriting, trim pass, prose tightness, poetry overwriting, the book maven, line edit, short story craftProduct Tagsaudiobook-stop-describing-the-curtains, planner-the-overwriting-diet, master-course-cut-the-curtains, bootcamp-the-trim-bootcamp, free-three-days-on-a-word-diet